So as amateur hour with Jack “well untruly” Leeming comes to an embarrassing end, an all round more qualified member of the team, Dean Smith (BA Hons), takes over the all important match report duties for the Rochdale Supporters Team , starting with last weekend’s defeat to Forever Bury B.Hopes were high for this fixture against our arch rivals as due to this being a bank holiday, our players had a selection of three different nights to hit the beer on this weekend. Unfortunately it appeared that this acted as no deterrent for some members of the squad with Greek Kyle turning up approximately 15 seconds before kick off looking like he’d got the first plane home from Zakynthos for the game.
It was a surprise for me on a personal note when the gaffer named me in the starting line up as due to my location on the wrong side of Heywood, I had missed out on the pivotal pre-match tactics talk at the infamous Sandbrook Park McDonalds. Astonishingly, the gaffer also missed out on what can only be described as a vitally important and traditional pre-match ritual that is dearly respected by every member of the team, leaving me off the hook.
The game was played at King George playing fields in Bury which, despite being a fairly decent pitch for an amateur standard, wasn’t quite up to scratch for us. The prima donna footballers at RSFC have been primed and pruned for astroturf football and it suits our slick, tiki-taka style game perfectly, meaning it would be difficult for us to adapt to such poor conditions.
The team lined up with big Ben McCarroll between the sticks covering for the absent goalkeepers Adam Stott and Remi Chatburn, with Rhys van Wolstengaal opting for a 3-5-2 formation, much to the confusion of the opposition, who appeared to have never faced anything other than 4-4-2 before. Thankfully for them, we were just as used to playing this formation as they were facing it, making it a level playing field all round.
The back three consisted of captain for the day Liam Jennings whose pre-match music selection consisted of much fewer indie songs than one was hoping for, alongside the towering and dominant Jack Leeming and the not quite so towering, nor quite as dominant Iain Murray.
On the left side of midfield, Phil ‘Darlo’ Darlington earned another start before he leaves us shortly for something called ‘University’ which only a couple of the other supporters team players have been privileged enough to have heard of and on the right was Luke Walsh, who was a fan of Liam Jennings’ pre-match music, although I’m sure he’d have preferred something more ‘donky.‘
In the centre was a midfield trio of John Barton, Ryan Lockett and yours truly, though I will add that starting me alongside Ryan Lockett is a recipe for disaster as I am bound to lose concentration with someone quite so beautiful by my side.
Leading the line was the physical duo of Paul Hudson and Kyle Davies and the pair of them started the game well – along with the whole Dale team. After an early free-kick was won on the edge of box, Greek Kyle – clearly unfazed by his late arrival and suspected hangover blasted a Michael Rose-esque free kick into the top corner to send the Dale 1-0 up.
And before long it was two as Luke Walsh made a storming run from the right hand side and danced through the Bury defence before smashing home with his left foot sending the imaginary Dale fans behind the goal into absolute raptures. These fans could hardly believe what they were seeing and were creating an incredible atmosphere, with such favourites as “2-0, in your cup final” ringing out. Inside my mind at least.
However Dale took their foot off the gas at this point and allowed the Shakers to come back into the game with their experienced number four managing to pull the strings in the middle. His cross-field passes were proving difficult to deal with for Dale but the visitors continued to push on themselves on the counter attack and could even have gone three goals to the good had Babyface Jennings been able to keep his cool as he met a free-kick from Jlee. Unfortunately Liam’s effort ended up closer to the top of Holcombe Hill than the goal.
Bury finally found a route back into the game with approximately 15 minutes remaining of the first half when confusion in the Dale box resulted in a Bury penalty. The number four who had been pulling the strings stepped up and slotted it past Ben, giving the home side a new found belief.
At this point the gaffer decided to make two subs with both Travis ‘Sonic’ Roberts and his magnificent hairstyle replacing Phil Darlo on the left hand side of midfield and Jamie Albison coming on to replace my good self in the middle of the park. I let the gaffer know in no uncertain terms what a ridiculous decision this is and whilst I agree that not only does everybody need game and that Travis and Jamie are very good players, bringing off your key player is unacceptable behaviour if he wanted to take anything from the game.
Alas, I was proven right as the Dale fell under yet further pressure before the break and Bury managed to get on level terms when another defensive mix-up allowed the Shakers centre-back to head home from a corner, leaving the sides level at the half-way point. The moral of the story is – make sure I’m always on the pitch.
Without me on the pitch last week versus Manchester City, we conceded 3 goals and scored just the 1, yet in my half an hour influencing the play as only I can from left-back, we managed 3 goals. I had let the gaffer know this but he ignored me, which hurt my feelings. Unfortunately, I was proven right once again as not long into the second half Bury took the lead when Walshy lost the ball in midfield (I hadn’t even realised it was Walshy who had lost it but he seemed adamant to take the blame after the final whistle, mentioning it at least three times) and Bury took full advantage to score from long range and complete the turnaround.
Safe to say the imaginary fans in my head were fuming at this point as the Bury fans goaded them. It was only fair that after the cup final jibes they should return with “2-0, and you fluffed it up.” (Yes, fluffed, football is a family game.) In a last ditch attempt to make things happier, Rhys brought himself on in attack to no avail. The Bury keeper made a couple of excellent saves from Ryan Lockett and Paul Hudson efforts and Bury had chances to finish the game on the counter but the game finished 3-2 to the side supporting a League Two team. We consoled ourselves in the changing room by telling ourselves that we’d be watching League One football later, but in reality it did nothing to soften the blow.
After the game, a few of the players took part in the ALS Ice Bucket challenge in order to raise some awareness and money for charity. I decided not to take part in this as I wasn’t too keen in showing my belly off to the big wide world, but having seen the video afterwards I believed the rest of the lads would probably have made me look rather trim. Well done to those who took part. They nominated Peter Vincenti, Keith Hill and Ian Henderson amongst others, but we’re yet to see any videos… Come on guys, get it sorted.
RSFC return to cup action next week with a difficult home tie versus national champions Livingston. Unfortunately I won’t be there due to a combination of work and not wanting to miss anything Sean Dyche says live on television, so it’s back to some indecipherable nonsense from the keypad of Jack Leeming next week. Only if we win though, of course…